The Week contest: First dog

This week’s question: President Biden’s German shepherd, Commander, recently bit another Secret Service agent at the White House — the dog’s 11th biting incident. In seven words or fewer, please come up with an advertising slogan for an animal training school that specializes in unruly presidential pets.
Click here to see the results of last week's contest: flamingo welcome
RESULTS:
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
THE WINNER: “This Isn’t Congress: You Will Be Obeyed!”
Joe Scott, Indianapolis, Indiana
SECOND PLACE: “Heel to the Chief”
Erica Avery, Greenfield, Massachusetts
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
THIRD PLACE: “Don’t Impeach Him! We Can Teach Him.”
Kenneth Burgan, Grass Valley, California
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
“Build Bark Better”
Bruce Carlson, Alexandria, Virginia
“Stop the Malarkey, Sparky!”
John Parry, Eldersburg, Maryland
“Make America Crate Again”
Larry Rifkin, Glastonbury, Connecticut
“Speak Softly and Learn a New Trick”
Guy Rusiski, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
“Not on His Presidency’s Secret Service”
Bill Levine, Belmont, Massachusetts
“Guidance for Leaders of the Flea World”
John Keefe, Mount Vernon, Washington
“Pets Won’t Need to Beg Your Pardon”
John Sullivan, West Babylon, New York
“Teaching Dogs the Behavioral Skills That Congress Lacks”
John Bregoli, Weymouth, Massachusetts
“Sit. Stay. Re-elect.”
Carol Joseph, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
‘We’ll Make Sure They’re White House-broken”
Ken Liebman, Williston, Vermont
“We Tame Litters of the Free World”
Tom Smith, Rochester, New York
“We Engage in Civil Obedience”
Jesse Rifkin, Arlington, Virginia
-
How will the new Repayment Assistance Plan for student loans work?
the explainer The Repayment Assistance Plan (RAP) will replace existing income-driven repayment plans
-
In the Spotlight Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro has been at odds with US forces
-
Music reviews: Ethel Cain, Amaarae, and The Black Keys
Feature "Willoughby Tucker, I'll Always Love You," "Black Star," and "No Rain, No Flowers"
-
Quiz of The Week: 9 – 15 August
Quiz Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
Magazine solutions - August 22, 2025
Feature Issue - August 22, 2025
-
Magazine printables - August 22, 2025
Feature Issue - August 22, 2025
-
The Week contest: Adult pacifier
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Quiz of The Week: 2 – 8 August
Have you been paying attention to The Week's news?
-
The Week contest: Maggot meals
Puzzles and Quizzes
-
Magazine solutions - August 15, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - August 15, 2025
-
Magazine printables - August 15, 2025
Puzzles and Quizzes Issue - August 15, 2025