I have become everything I hate. I put smiley faces everywhere now. :)

If there are appropriate small ways to lift our own spirits, and to lift the spirits of others, shouldn't we use them?

I used to pride myself on never ending — or beginning — text messages or emails or social media posts with a smiley face or a heart or a winky emoji, on never using such emojis at all. I used to consider the people who did so regularly to be obvious and basic and trying way too hard. Let your message stand on its own! I would think. Have the courage to let someone misinterpret it if they must! You don't always have to come off as nice! For the love of all that is good and holy, stop with the incessant smiles!

I felt quite justified in my judgment. Weren't such emojis passive aggressive, or even aggressive-aggressive, sometimes? Were the people who sent these missives truly smiling, or were they crying behind their frozen grimaces, trapped in a false paroxysm of joy they never truly felt? That one persistent winky-face user I knew, why did he add it at the end of everything, like a period? I felt cynical about the entire thing, dubious that the emoji reflected the actual, pure beliefs of the user. Maybe I also hated the idea that I was expected to respond in kind to whatever smile was thrown my way — even though smiling does do some pretty good things for you, performative or not.

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Jen Doll

Jen Doll is the author of the memoir Save the Date: The Occasional Mortifications of a Serial Wedding Guest. She's also the managing editor for Mental Floss magazine and has written for The Atlantic, Esquire, Glamour, Marie Claire, The Hairpin, New York magazine, The New Republic, The New York Times Book Review The Village Voice, and other publications.