Only in America
Weary cops tell crime-weary residents to move out, and more 
Police in Columbus, Ohio, have started telling crime-weary residents to move somewhere else.
Florida man loses suit over "defective" underwear
A Florida man has failed to win compensation for a “defective” pair of briefs that rubbed his genitals like “sandpaper belts.”
Bus driver suspended for wearing pink tie, and more
An Illinois bus driver has been suspended for wearing a pink necktie in recognition of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.
School suspends cub scout for camping utensil, and more
A 6-year-old Delaware Cub Scout was suspended for carrying a camping utensil to school.
Erasing the Bible's "liberal bias," and more
The Wikipedia-style Conservative Bible Project is inviting users to erase the “liberal bias’’ from English translations of the Bible.
Lawsuit claims alcoholism is a handicap, and more
A Florida police deputy, fired for drunken misconduct, is suing for damages on the grounds that alcoholism is a recognized handicap.
Burning Man festival not at fault, and more
A California man who deliberately walked into a fire at the annual Burning Man festival in Nevada has failed to win compensation for his burns.
Student detained at airport for Arabic flashcards, and more
A California college student was detained for five hours at Philadelphia’s airport for having Arabic flashcards in his luggage.
No thumprint, no cash, says bank to man with no arms, and more
A Florida bank refused to cash a check for a man with no arms because he couldn’t provide a thumbprint.
Missouri high school bans “Brass Evolutions” T-shirt, and more
A Missouri high school has banned the school’s marching band from wearing T-shirts that depict brass instruments evolving into one another.
City tennis league sued by disgruntled player, and more
A North Carolina woman is suing the city of Raleigh because no men will play tennis with her.
All-hail the Mayor, and more
A Deerfield, Fla., city employee has been reprimanded for not saying “Hello” to the mayor when they passed in a hallway.
Bank fires teller for preventing a robbery, and more
A Seattle bank fired a teller for foiling an attempted robbery.
Husband is fired over wife's occupation, and more
The Town Council of Fort Myers Beach, Fla., fired the town manager after finding out his wife is a porn star.
How to survive in jail for dummies, and more
An ex-con from New York has gone into business teaching Wall Street executives and other white-collar criminals how to survive jail.
Texting teen walks into manhole, and more
The family of a New York City teenager who fell down an open manhole while texting is planning to sue the city.
Little People protest the M-word, and more
The advocacy group Little People of America has called on the Federal Communications Commission to ban the word “midget” from broadcast media.
Ousted over a pyramid of Peeps, and more
A Colorado woman says she is being evicted for leaving her Easter decorations up too long.
“Who’s going to be the judge of that?” and more
City employees in Brooksville, Fla., are now legally required to wear underwear and deodorant.
Minnesotan accidentally boarded up in foreclosed home, and more
A disabled Minnesota man who lost his home to foreclosure was boarded up inside when he failed to leave on the designated day.
