Are you sitting down? Because Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have "decided to separate." The news was announced on Paltrow's aspirational-living site Goop. There was no mention of "divorce." In fact, the pair — who have been married for a decade — describe their action as "conscious uncoupling," a term that reeks of too many sad therapy sessions.
This news may not come as a surprise to some. Paltrow has her fair share of haters and Martin has faded into the background of late (unless you count appearing as a judge on the upcoming season of The Voice). But, personally, I find it depressing. Is nothing sacred in Hollywood?
If anything ever happens to Ellen and Portia, then you'll find me curled up with a magnum blasting some Coldplay tunes, thank you. Come to think of it, "Fix You" suddenly sounds all too prophetic.
John Oliver does not like pranks, or any day encouraging them. "April Fools' Day is to comedy as St. Patrick's Day is to Irish culture," he said in this Last Week Tonight video posted Sunday night: "That is to say, it is a very mockery of the concept that usually ends in a fist fight." Pranks make people sad, he added, and "anyone who claims to be excited about April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath, because what they're really saying is, 'I cannot wait to hurt the people close to me.'" If you agree with Oliver at the end of his well-thought-out spiel, you can take his No-Prank Pledge. And, as this is HBO, some of the language is mildly NSFW. —Peter Weber
If President Obama had The Rock's build, he would have a much easier time getting Republicans to do what he wants. Or, at least, he would have a much easier time tossing them out windows and ripping off their limbs when they made him angry, as was the case in this Saturday Night Live sketch featuring Dwayne Johnson as "The Rock Obama."
"Don't be alarmed," Johnson says after some maddening Republican subversion causes him to hulk out and rip through his suit. "The Rock Obama much like Barack Obama, only larger and more violent." —Jon Terbush
Former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina on Sunday crept closer to a White House bid, saying in an interview with Fox News there is a "higher than 90 percent" chance she will run.
"As other potential candidates are doing, we need to make sure we have the right team in place, that we have the right support," she said, adding that an announcement would likely come in late April or early May.
A political neophyte, Fiorina ran for Senate in California in 2010 but lost by a 10-point margin. A CNN poll earlier this month found her with less than 1 percent of the vote in a hypothetical GOP primary. —Jon Terbush
Former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley (D) on Sunday took a none-too-subtle swipe at Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush, the presumptive frontrunners for their parties' 2016 nominations.
"The presidency of the United States is not some crown to be passed between two families," O'Malley, himself a prospective White House candidate, said on ABC's This Week. "It is an awesome and sacred trust to be earned and exercised on behalf of the American people." —Jon Terbush
What would Bambi look like with bulging muscles and an entourage of woodland gunmen? That's the question Saturday Night Live answered with a Fast and the Furious–meets-Disney reboot staring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as the titular orphaned deer.
"When I was a boy, they took away my mother," Johnson says in the faux trailer. "Now it's time for them to pay — dearly." —Jon Terbush
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on Sunday assailed the emerging details of a nuclear agreement intended to curb Iran's nuclear program.
"This agreement, as it appears, confirms all of our concerns and even more so," he said.
The U.S. and Iran have three days left before the deadline to reach a framework deal.
Arab leaders on Sunday announced a tentative agreement to create a joint military force to combat violence and extremism in the region.
"We recognize the clear challenges in the Arab world and the need to take measures to combat them," Nabil al Araby, chairman of the Arab League, said on the final day of the group's summit in Egypt.
The announcement came days after a Saudi-led coalition began launching airstrikes in Yemen against the Houthi rebels who have overrun the country and forced President Abd Rabbu Mansour Hadi to flee.