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April 1, 2014

It's starting to seem as though Londoners don't know how to take care of their luxury vehicles. The owner of $500,000 Lamborghini Aventador was involved in a pricey pileup in one of the city's poshest neighborhoods. In a video of the crash, captured by a bystander, the driver careens through the streets and smashes into a parked BMW and an oncoming Mazda sedan.

The souped-up sports car has a reputation. Londoners have previously seen it with flames shooting out of its trunk, but this time the car was "reduced to a sorry state" and suffered major damage. No matter, though! "The owner seemed young and was with a group of friends after the crash who all seemed relaxed bearing in mind the wreckage on the road," a witness said. --Jordan Valinsky

This just in
11:04 a.m. ET
Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

On Wednesday morning, U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch, FBI Director James Comey, and IRS criminal division head Richard Weber held a press conference in Brooklyn to discuss the indictment of nine FIFA officials on corruption charges. Lynch announced the unsealing of the 47 charges, which include money laundering, conspiracy, using bribes to influence hosting decisions, and soliciting bribes from sports marketers.

Lynch said that the FIFA officials, as well as five indicted sports-marketing executives, "corrupted the business of worldwide soccer to serve their interests," and added that they will be brought to justice. The officials have agreed to return millions of dollars accepted in bribes.

The surprise arrests were carried out early Wednesday morning by plainclothes police officers as soccer's governing world body gathered in Zurich, Switzerland for FIFA's annual meeting. While FIFA's powerful longtime president, Sepp Blatter, isn't among those indicted, the arrests are a blow to his tenure, and could put his presumed election to a fifth term — set for Friday — in jeopardy. Meghan DeMaria

Yeah science!
10:35 a.m. ET
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Don't worry — this is not the hideous, cold-sore causing herpes you know and hate, which can be extremely harmful for cancer patients. Rather, this version of herpes has been genetically engineered not to cause an active infection.

For several years, scientists have been experimenting with cancer treatment forms utilizing viruses, an approach called immunotherapy. This particular herpes virus, according to a study published Tuesday in the Journal of Clinical Oncology, has proven highly effective in combating melanoma, an increasingly common form of skin cancer.

When injected directly into a melanoma, this specially designed herpes can attack the cancer in two ways: by killing the cells directly and "marshalling" the immune system against them. Further, because the virus specifically targets the cancerous cells, there tend to be fewer side effects than with other, more traditional forms of treatment, like chemotherapy.

Combined with additional immunotherapies, this version of herpes improves survival and life extension rates in patients with even advanced stages of cancer. Stephanie Talmadge

Wordplay
10:19 a.m. ET
AP Photo/Stephan Savoia

Bad news, world: Jeggings are here to stay.

At least for now, the "legging that is designed to resemble a tight-fitting pair of denim jeans" has been defined and included in the new edition of the Merriam-Webster Unabridged Dictionary, The Washington Post reports.

Also among the more than 1,700 new entries: "photobomb" ("to move into the frame of a photograph as it is being taken as a joke or prank") and "NSFW" ("not safe for work; used to warn someone that a website, email attachment, etc., is not suitable for viewing at most places of employment"). Other additions include techy terms like "clickbait," "meme," and "emoji," and, a bit more randomly, "colossal squid."

Check out even more of the dictionary's new entries over at Merriam-Webster Unabridged. Sarah Eberspacher

Quotables
9:54 a.m. ET
David Greedy/Getty Images

In a Morning Joe interview Wednesday, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) blamed Republican "hawks" like Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) for ISIS' rise and growth.

"ISIS exists and grew stronger because of the hawks in our party who gave arms indiscriminately, and most of those arms were snatched up by ISIS," Paul told Joe Scarborough. "These hawks also wanted to bomb Assad, which would have made ISIS' job even easier. They've created these people."

Paul also said that ISIS is "all over Libya" because Republicans "loved Hillary Clinton's war" and "wanted more of it." He also said that both Libya and Iraq are "failed states." Meghan DeMaria

Discoveries!
9:54 a.m. ET
Screenshot/YouTube/F2OS

It's a question that has bedeviled moguls for millennia: Where do you put your solid gold bucket brimming with weed and coke? If you were a nomadic warlord from the 4th century B.C., you'd hide it in your secret treasure room, of course.

Archaeologists have found just such a room, containing two such objects, hidden beneath an ancient burial mound in southern Russia. The researchers dated the treasure horde to 2,400 years ago and believe it once belonged to the Scythians, a ferocious group of nomads who were contemporaries of the ancient Greeks. All in all, the room contains nearly seven pounds worth of gold artifacts like cups, rings, bracelets, and chokers. Those buckets, though, stole the show.

National Geographic reports:

[Head archaeologist] Belinski asked criminologists in nearby Stavropol to analyze a black residue inside the vessels. The results came back positive for opium and cannabis, confirming a practice first reported by Herodotus. The Greek historian claimed that the Scythians used a plant to produce smoke "that no Grecian vapour-bath can surpass … transported by the vapor, [they] shout aloud."

Because the sticky residue was found on the inside of the vessels, Belinski and Gass think they were used to brew and drink a strong opium concoction, while cannabis was burning nearby. "That both drugs were being used simultaneously is beyond doubt," Gass says. [National Geographic]

You can read more about this heady, "once-in-a-century discovery" at National Geographic. Nico Lauricella

This just in
9:02 a.m. ET
Cate Gillon/Getty Images

For the first time in 10 years, military regulations at the U.S. naval base in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, will prevent lawyers from bringing food to inmates during legal meetings.

Lawyers often bring treats, such as McDonald's Big Mac sandwiches or chocolate chip cookies, with them to legal conferences at the facility.

Prison officials have defended the new regulations, which go into effect Wednesday, for health and safety reasons. But critics say the food helps prisoners cooperate with their lawyers, such as when attorneys got prisoner Abu Wa’el Dhiab to drink juice during a hunger strike.

"It's actually quite tragic for the clients," Alka Pradhan, an attorney, told The Miami Herald. "Sometimes the food we bring is the only thing from the outside world they've seen in months, and they really look forward to it." Meghan DeMaria

The beautiful game
8:46 a.m. ET

Nine top officials of soccer's governing organization FIFA were arrested today in Switzerland and will be extradited to the U.S. to face corruption charges. If you're just getting up to speed on the news, let John Oliver walk you through the inner workings of this "comically grotesque" and "cartoonishly evil" organization — from its kangaroo courts to its shady deals and hilariously megalomaniacal boardrooms. The video is from last year, but the takeaway is all too relevant. --Nico Lauricella

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