Life, death, and the dog I never knew I wanted

Was getting a dog the dumbest thing to do in the wake of a friend's untimely death? Maybe. But, then again, maybe not.

I was not going to have another child. No way. Two was my limit. Every time a friend gave birth to a third child, I said a silent prayer of gratitude that the precious little bundle would be bundled off to someone else's house. I had long realized that as far as child-rearing went, I was not cut out for zone defense. I was strictly man to man. Two adults, two children. One per. I don’t like chaos. I prefer it when there are just enough people around to assure me I am not the only one who survived the apocalypse.

In the last couple of years, my kids have become increasingly independent, and there has been a very pleasant decrease in chaos. My son started high school, and my daughter has been traveling to and from middle school on her own. Each summer, they leave for sleep-away camp. I miss them, but the feeling passes quickly.

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Cynthia Kaplan

Cynthia Kaplan is the author of two collections of comic essays, Why I'm Like This: True Stories and Leave the Building Quickly. She has written for The New York Times, The Philadelphia Inquirer, and New York Magazine, among many others, as well as for television and film. She lives in New York City with her family and difficult dog and frequently performs with her band, The Cynthia Kaplan Ordeal.