The mommy wars are not about kids

They are about moms

Baby race
(Image credit: (Bettmann/CORBIS))

The Washington Post recently reported on the first large-scale longitudinal study looking at the relationship between how much time mothers spend with their kids and how those kids turn out. They found that there is virtually no correlation for kids between the ages of 3 and 11, and only a minimal effect on adolescents. The researchers looked at how these kids fared in school, their behavior, and emotional well-being.

These findings can be read as the rejection of intensive parenting, a popular child-rearing approach rooted in the idea that the more time and effort spent on our children, the better. It's quality, not quantity, the author's of the study urge; when mothers worry about quantity, they just end up stressing out their kids too. This stress is worse for the kids than the lack of time of together.

Subscribe to The Week

Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.

SUBSCRIBE & SAVE
https://cdn.mos.cms.futurecdn.net/flexiimages/jacafc5zvs1692883516.jpg

Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.

Sign up
To continue reading this article...
Continue reading this article and get limited website access each month.
Get unlimited website access, exclusive newsletters plus much more.
Cancel or pause at any time.
Already a subscriber to The Week?
Not sure which email you used for your subscription? Contact us
Elissa Strauss

Elissa Strauss writes about the intersection of gender and culture for TheWeek.com. She also writes regularly for Elle.com and the Jewish Daily Forward, where she is a weekly columnist.